Sleepless Mornings

A Very Good Bad Day

2012-05-18T16:28:00.001-07:00

I think of myself as a pretty upbeat “glass is half full” kind of person most of the time, so when I admit to myself (or anyone in kicking distance) that I’m having a bad day – I probably really am having a BAD day.

Back at the end of March I was having one.

It started with me screaming at the top of my lungs at the kids on the way to school, which is not only a way I am never proud of acting, but is absolutely the worst way to start any day. They were cranky, I overreacted, and we all ended up in tears before eight in the morning. By the time they were stomping off to class, I was driving to work disgusted with myself for being the worst mom in the history of the world. I probably wasn’t – but it sure felt that way.

I can’t recall now what was going on at work to add to the awful day, but it’s not hard to imagine that I was probably feeling overwhelmed. We all have those days. I was also worrying myself sick over what to do about Charlie, who was partially miserable those days because he hated his after school care situation. At ten years old, he really didn’t want to be IN daycare anymore, and I couldn’t say I blamed him. That morning I decided to put out the word to a few mom friends who drive to/from the same school to see if anyone would be interested in driving him home from school every day, in exchange for a little gas/pocket money. Right away my dear friend Kim responded with a yes, and behold, a deal was sealed. Hallelujah! My day started to look up.

Later that morning I received the email from Jen at The Mom Reviews that offered me the printer review for HP – I couldn’t believe that something I had desperately needed would just fall out of the sky like that! “I get to keep it??” I couldn’t have been happier to do that review, and enjoyed every minute I spent on it. What awes me is the timing of the offer – after the child care fix, it was yet another wonderful moment on a day I was sure would never improve.

Finally, that afternoon, I got a call from my friend Ann. Our sons are in the same class together and have really hit it off again (after having been friends as babies!) She wondered if I was aware of the plan the boys had concocted that day – to go to her house after school, so that essentially Charlie could miss his daycare nightmare and have lots of fun with his pal. I was terribly embarrassed for her to have been put out, but she couldn’t have been more wonderful about it. She was pleased to have Charlie over, and except for making sure I was aware and having me chat with my little schemer, she enjoyed having him over.

As if that weren’t enough, she called me back about half an hour later to say that she was making dinner for her family, and wondered if I’d like for her to make enough to send home with me, too. She was so nonchalant about it – “Just some shrimp scampi with linguini.” Oh, is that all? *insert insane laughter here*

I told her I couldn’t say no. I just couldn’t. And when I got to her house to pick up my boy, she sent us home with not only the linguini, but asparagus wrapped with prosciutto, mac n cheese for the kids, breadsticks, salad and a bottle of red wine. Yes, I really do know people as wonderful as this, and yes, I am so very blessed to call them friends.

I confess that I went home with a few joyful tears and proceeded to eat myself stupid.

To sum up…

Remember the old life lesson story about the man who was stuck somewhere, surrounded by water, and prayed to God to rescue him? While he waited for God, three different people arrived and offered to save him, but he held out. When the water finally rose too high and he died, he got to heaven and asked God why He didn’t help him? God says, “I sent three people to rescue you, and you sent them all away!”

That isn’t the case here. I know God knew I was reaching my limit that day. That there wasn’t much more I could handle, and that I was going to break. God sent three different people into the fray that day, and each of them held out a hand and pulled me a little further out. I was thankful then and I am thankful now.

Project Complete!

2012-05-10T21:12:00.000-07:00

Room Makeover # 2 is complete!

Well, almost. I still need to fix some color issues with the ceiling, and the baseboards and door frames and closet doors need painting. Not to mention a new bedspread is in order. But, the really HARD part is DONE! Noelle picked a lovely set of colors with lavender and yellow, which we painted on opposite walls of each other.

The wood dresser belonged to her dad, which we refinished back when Charlie was born. It's been in his room until now, but with his new furniture, he no longer needs it. So Noelle has inherited it and is enjoying have more space for her clothes and crafts.

The ruffled pillows are SO SOFT! We picked them up at Home Goods, the best store ever. None of them completely matches anything yet, but they will be cute with the bedspread she's picked out. I told her we'll pick that up after the next payday.

Now to move on to the rest of the house -- the interior family areas haven't been painted since before we moved in, and I'm embarassed to the point of not wanting people to come over. I'm considering hiring painters to save myself the aggrevation, but the penny pincher in me is also considering just taking a week off in early summer to just go to town on it myself. Time will tell!

Room Makeover #1 Complete!

2012-04-26T15:51:00.000-07:00

We're tired, we're sore and we're still finding paint in those hard to reach places.

But we're also DONE with Charlie's room!

It turned out really great -- the color he chose is gorgeous and we're all really pleased.

We very nearly didn't finish by the end of the weekend thanks to my gall bladder attack on Saturday morning/mid day that literally put me in the fetal position. (That's the most comfy place, it turns out.) Once the major pain subsided, and the house was blistering hot from the unusual heat wave we were having, Charlie and I got down to it. He lasted for about 1/4 of each wall before he would ~~get bored~~ tire out and head to the couch. Me? I barely left the room before 8pm that night. I'm funny that way.

Here's the final product! You might recall this view from the last picture I posted of Noelle's former room. It's really quite a change!

This one captures the color really well. It's called "Rainy Lake."

Once we had it all cleared out, we put in the new bedroom furniture that was my brothers, and Charlie decorated it with his fave pillows and turtle. Amusingly, the scent of my brother's stuff has lingered, so Charlie's room still smells like paint and his uncle.

I don't think he minds a bit.

A key moment in this transformation was in the van on the way home from the paint store. Charlie was surprised at how much the paint had cost, and then asked me how much I had paid for the furniture. I told him, and when he added it all up, he was astounded. He very sincerely thanked me, at which point I took the opportunity to tell him he's welcome, but that this was something I was happy to do. He needed something nice like this, and parents love doing things for their kids. I told him that the desire never goes away, either. I pointed out how my own parents still love "doing" for me, and that we'll all feel that way about our children until the day we die.

The idea that making him happy made me happy overwhelmed him for a moment, and we held hands the rest of the drive home.

That was all I needed.

Next up -- Noelle's new room!

Room Makeovers!

2012-04-21T10:25:00.001-07:00

We're starting the kid bedroom makeovers today that have been in the works for a little while now. My brother is moving to Hawaii next week, so I purchased his bedroom set for Charlie. We're switching the kids' rooms so that Charlie will finally have the slightly bigger room, which I think it's time for.

The starting point is Noelle's old room. Here's what it looks like as of this morning.

Vegas Vacation

2012-04-18T16:25:00.000-07:00

I recently (as in, over Easter) took the kids on a little trek to the desert. I don't know about how the rest of you in the world have been doing, but I needed a break!! Amidst discussion with the kids and then my parents about where to go for a little adventure, the idea of Las Vegas came up as THE place to go.

With kids, you say? If you have to ask, then you haven't been there in a while. There is a lot for kids to see and do in various places, and as long as you can avoid the little bit of crazy and the lot of adult themed locations, you can pull off a pretty fun trip.

Thanks to my parents who fronted the money for our plane fare, we took off the day before Easter. My kids don't get to fly too often, so that was half of the adventure right there. And the highlight, boys and girls, is to fly with children. Because guess what? The TSA doesn't make them (or you) go through the updated version of the xrated viewing machine. Both trips, right after we got my shoes (not theirs) and goods into the buckets, they herded us over to the old school metal detector and made the process ever so much easier. So that's my tip to you: travel with kids.

Once we arrived at our AMAZING hotel, the kids wanted to do the very thing they'd been dreaming about for weeks -- go swimming.

I tried to talk them into seeing some sites, but they wouldn't have any of that. So down to the pool at the MGM Grand Signature Hotels we went. (Each tower has it's own pool, with it's own poolside bar service.) This is me.

This is why I was happy.

Oops, I mean this is why I was happy. Silly me.

And this.

Yes, they were happy as clams to swim every ~~stinking~~ single day, and I was happy for them. I did do some swimming, but I also did a lot of reading and relaxing on a lounge chair, which is really all I could ask for in a getaway from my desk life. The weather was perfect and we had no complaints.

On Easter morning I - er, I mean the Easter Bunny visited us on the 24th floor and left eggs hidden all over the hotel room. Conveniently, each egg had money in it for them to spend on vacation. Inconveniently, both kids hid their money away and continued to spend mine.

There was some candy to be had, and of course we hit the MnM store, so we were not short on chocolate. Other highlights included the Secret Garden at the Mirage, with their dolphins and white tigers, etc, and they also loved Caesars Palace with the fountains and the beautiful sky. We never did get out at night to see more lights and shows thanks to being so wiped out from swimming, but overall we really just needed to relax and get a break from every day life. And we definitely got it!

A few more photo highlights...

Noelle in her Easter dress.

Charlie at the Mirage's Secret Garden

My First Video Review!

2012-04-02T11:27:00.000-07:00

Thanks again to my friend Jen at The Mom Reviews, who gave me a sweet opportunity to review the incredible HP Deskjet e-All-In-One-Printer for her review blog!

While excited to have a chance at a wireless printer at home, I was a little intimidated by the idea of editing a video and doing it well enough. Thanks to my laptop coming with everything I ever needed to edit a movie, I had a lot of fun yesterday putting this together. I foresee fun projects ahead with the kids.

Check it out and feel free to have a laugh at my enthusiasm. I might have been overly cheerful at the beginning. And Noelle was happy to mock me when I said it was "portable," and then talked about what that means. She watched it and said, "Mom, everyone knows what portable means. You didn't have to explain it." Thanks kid.

Merrie reviews a printer

Kool-Aid Anyone?

2012-03-30T15:52:00.001-07:00

The question I seem to hear a lot lately is, "Did you read the books?"

It's starting to feel a bit as if people are asking if I drank the kool-aid. And I want to scream, "Yes! Okay?! I did! I did drink it!! And I liked it!"

I know you know what I'm talking about -- The Hunger Games.

And truthfully, what's not to like? Sure, I've read the reviews by people who are horrified by the concept of pitting 24 children against each other to fight to the death. Just out of curiosity -- are these same reviewers under the impression that the rest of us like the idea of children fighting to the death? Because I'd be happy to be the first to stand up and say that I don't. But isn't that what books are all about? Creatively sharing a unique idea with others so that we can decide how we feel about it? Naturally I don't want to live in a world like the one Katniss and Peeta do, but I'm curious to see what a world like that would be like, and ponder how I would feel about it. Thinking outside the box -- what a concept!

Being a lover of reading, it didn't take me long to zip through the books, but for some reason Charlie couldn't get past the first few chapters. It just didn't hold his attention the way so many other books do. However, he was more than okay with seeing the movie with me, which we did on Saturday. I thought it was all very well done and true to the book, and I had fun filling Charlie in (quietly) on who was who and why things were the way they were. I found there were several great moments to teach him empathy, which I think was a great lesson. We both got a lot out of the movie and are still talking about it nearly a week later.

Up next for our family is to finally see the Percy Jackson movie, as Charlie is on the cusp of starting the 4th (of five) book in that series. I'm looking forward to it, despite not so great reviews. Hopefully for Charlie it will bring the characters he loves to life, the way Hunger Games did for me.

I love a good review

2012-03-27T16:53:00.002-07:00

I'm doing a little guest reviewing here and there over at The Mom Reviews! Be sure to check out my first of hopefully many more -- Club Penguin's Puffle Party!

More soon on the ups and downs of life these days.

A Dog's Love

2012-02-07T20:28:00.000-08:00

Our Husky, Simba, is confirming something that I had suspected but perhaps didn't want to admit.

Lately, he's taken to following me just about everywhere and laying down near wherever I end up. And if I can't find him near me, I can usually find him near my bed. When he needs something, he comes and "tells" me, usually by barking and then looking in the general direction of what it is he's "talking" about. Typically there are 4 things he's trying to convey:

1. The dog food bowl is empty.

2. The water bowl is empty.

3. I want to go outside.

4. There are dishes that I can lick in the kitchen and you know it.

All of these behaviors point to something I'm kind of shocked by.

I'm the grown up.

You know what I mean, right? When we were kids, and we had dogs, they enjoyed playing with us or going for "walkies" with us, but the truth is they knew where their bread and butter came from -- our parents. It was my parents who held the real responsibilities and could be counted on for consistently meeting their needs, and they KNEW it. They liked us kids, but they loved my mom and dad.

So now I'm the one that is trusted and looked to and, in a way, beloved. I've never truly had that with a dog until now. Interestingly it endears him to me more, and I find I like having him around more than I used to. Just tonight I was getting some work done on my laptop in the bathroom -- Noelle made me keep her company while she bathed -- and in came Simba. He curled up on the floor between me and the tub, which is something I never could have predicted. He was just happier because I was here.

You know what this means, though, right? Now I have to deserve his love and respect. A little less mocking, a little more walking -- I need to become the person he might actually think I am.

No pressure.

Getting out of Debt

2012-01-26T13:36:00.000-08:00

I've mentioned in the past that I'm making continuous efforts to save money and live within my means, but I haven't shared my latest and greatest ventures in penny pinching in a while. I think it's worth sharing one very important thing:

Since August 2011 I am credit card free!!

How did I get the credit cards to a zero balance? That's another part of the story. See, I had felt like I was living within my means, but there were costs coming up that I couldn't always foresee, such as car repairs and vet bills and LIFE. Instead of planning for those and budgeting carefully, I was just using a credit card to make up the difference. Slowly but surely, I accumulated more debt than I ever imagined I would, and I was drowning in worry every month.

Finally, last summer, I decided to take action. First, I got hold of my finances, figured out where I was, and put together a full workbook of spreadsheets to balance my budget and give myself a clear picture of where my money was going.

Without great detail, because I'm cautious that way, let's just say I had access to a sum of money that would pay off the credit cards and give me just one thing to pay back with lower interest each month. I was able to pay both cards in full, which felt great, and haven't used them since.

Now the fun part -- KEEPING myself from using them.

Actually that's not so hard, but it does require me to watch every penny, as well as account for where the money is all going before the next paycheck. Each month I typically have to "borrow" from savings to make the house payment, but within 2 days I always pay it back and am able to maintain an emergency fund in my savings account. (Per Dave Ramsey's advice -- I love that guy!) Granted it's not always fun to be down to the bare bones, and sometimes the kids and I daydream about being able to take a trip or go out to dinner at a great place, but for the most part we're making it work. In the midst of paying the bills and paying off the loan, we manage to enjoy a few meals out at less expensive places, and I've still been able to buy them winter clothes, too. Nobodies starving or freezing!

I admit there are times when I catch myself thinking I could use a card "just this once." But I always slap myself out of it and haven't made that mistake once. If I can't pay cash for it, I don't need it!

One thing to note: I do pretty well financially, and all of my money concerns point at one thing -- childcare. I've done the math, and nearly a quarter of my after tax income goes to childcare for my wonderful kids. And that's okay! It's totally worth it! But it's nice to know that they'll get older, and eventually that part of my budget will change, and I won't have quite the worries that I do now. There is a light at the end of the poor tunnel!

What I look forward to is the day I can call Dave Ramsey on Debt Free Friday and yell, "I'M DEBT FREE!!"

Happy Hollandaise

2012-01-04T23:37:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year!

The holidays aren't worth reliving, so I'm just jumping into 2012. I'm just happy to say we all survived, and so far, everyone is healthy.

My update on the kidney front is that I've been ousted as a possible donor for my mother. Heartbreaking and unfair, in my humble opinion, but with my cysts and our family history they don't think that "cutting my kidney function in half" is a good idea. So there you have it. I continue to be of no use to anyone!

On to last night...
I don't think I've mentioned this, but Noelle and I are absolutely in love with the movie "Julie & Julia." Partly for the adorable Amy Adams. Partly for the incredible Stanley Tucci. Partly because Meryl absolutely brings Julia to LIFE. Partly because I love that Julia was tall. And MOSTLY because the food in that movie makes us hungry every single time we watch it!

So far we'd only attempted the bruchetta that Julie and her husband devour one evening -- just watching them enjoy it made us want it that much more! We weren't able to get the right kinds of tomatoes, and in the end our bread didn't seem nearly as delectable, but we did use fresh tomatoes and fresh basil, and we did thoroughly enjoy the meal. So much so that my son is still asking when we're going to make it again! I call that a success.

Last night I attempted something I've never made: Hollandaise sauce! Not that it was oh so hard, nor was it anything nobodies ever made, but it was my first time and I had fun with it. Granted, anything that includes an entire stick of butter can't be all that bad, right?

We wanted to make it for the artichokes that Noelle's been dying for me to buy. (She finally tried one at a friend's house and now she "loooves them!" Never mind that I have made them before...)

The sauce was delicious, and I loved the flavor of the two together. I was in heaven. Meanwhile, Noelle took one taste and decided on ranch for her dipping. Fine by me! I was only too happy to enjoy it by myself, since Charlie wouldn't have anything to do with it, either. Tonight I swung by Trader Joe's and picked up a little broccolini, which I steamed and then drowned in the last of the hollandaise. It was just as wonderful warmed up, and I had to stop myself from licking the bowl afterwards.

I've been scouring my local antique shops for a copy of Julia's Mastering the Art of French Cooking, but I think perhaps there are a few other people out there who, like me, have seen the movie and wanted to pick up a copy. Thanks to the Internet, I'm sure I can find most recipes I'm looking for. Just Google "Julie & Julia" and you'll be amazed at what you'll find.

I'm off to sleep now, to dream of rich, creamy sauces. Yum.

Five Things

2011-12-01T06:00:00.000-08:00

Mama Kat's Writer's Workshop to the inspirational rescue!

List 5 things we don't know about you
1. My signature scent is the original Vanilla from The Body Shop -- I've been wearing it for years and years. If they ever stop making it, I'm going to clean out every store on the west coast. When I'm not wearing the vanilla, my favorite backup is Joop!

2. I was born on my actual due date of 11/11, which coincidentally was 9 months and 2 days after my father returned from a year of service in Korea. I'll bet they're glad I wasn't early!

3. I own every single book LaVyrle Spencer ever wrote, and I re-read each of them every several years. My favorites are Years, Sweet Memories and Separate Beds. I don't care much for any other romance writers, but she's from Minnesota and often sets the book in the 1800's or early 1900's. I love that.

4. I've been keeping a journal since high school, and I now have a drawer full of them from over the years. Mostly I'm embarrassed to know me when I read through them, so I've started a journal of simple stories from my life that my children can read later. Hopefully it will give them a bit of insight of who I was.

5. Nothing makes me laugh harder then texts from Autocorrect.com or Whenparentstext.com. NOTHING. I literally cry. If you haven't been there, drop everything and start reading.

ME: Mom, did I see you last night? Sorry I came home a little hammered…

MOM: Um, yes. You did.

ME: Uh oh. What happened?

MOM: I reminded you to change your clocks and you burst into tears. I’ll remember it’s a sensitive subject from now on.

************

Dad: What are you doing?

Me: I’m at Grandma’s house. What do you need?

Dad: I want cookies. Chocolate chip. Get them for me. I will pay.

Me: Ask mom.

Dad: I did. She won’t. Says no. Get cookies please.

Me: I will on my way home.

(10 minutes later)

Dad: Nevermind. Mom found texts. NO COOKIES! ABORT MISSION!

************

DAD: big poppa is back!!

ME: who’s big poppa?

DAD: the big turkey in the backyard, i named him big pappa.

(5 minutes later)

DAD: THROW YOUR HANDS IN THE AYEA IF YOUSE A TRUE PLAYA!

List 5 things you're knowledgeable about
1. Anne of Green Gables. I've read every book, some of them more than 20 times, and I absolutely love Ann (with an e) Shirley. My favorite book is Anne of Ingleside, which is mostly about her children. Their antics and adventures make me laugh or smile endlessly. I can't wait for Noelle to read them.

2. Marie Antoinette. I was obsessed a couple of years ago and read many books about her life. FYI, it's not a happy ending.

3. Mormonism. I happened to have studied it a lot a few years back, and I have a few too many books on the subject.

4. Baking. Thanks to my mom I feel like I can tackle just about anything in the baking world and have a clue about what I'm doing. She was a wonderful teacher when I was growing up -- very patient and consistent. I hear her in myself when I'm baking with Noelle.

5. Amy Grant's music. I tried not to mention her, but let's be honest -- there's little about her and her life and her history that I don't know. What can I say? She intrigues me!

List 5 things you know nothing about
1. Playing an instrument. I can still do scales on my flute, but that's the extent of it. I've always been interested in the piano and guitar, but who has the time? Or a piano?

2. How to keep any sort of reptile alive. I live in fear of the kids getting a turtle or lizard some day.

3. Changing the oil in my car. I could save a lot of money if I knew, but I take it to a shop and tell someone what I want and then browse at a store nearby while they mysteriously change my oil.

4. I love Indian food, but I don't have a clue as to how it's made or even the name of most dishes. In most restaurants I am lucky enough to be with someone who has a clue, or I go to my usual little place where they know me and the food is exactly the same every time. Otherwise I'm completely intimidated. This is something I would like to rectify. I do not feel that way about the reptiles.

5. How to color hair. I've never had mine colored, though the grey that's popping up has me thinking about buying a box. But I'm totally intimidated and will probably make a friend or my mom do it on the first attempt. Good luck to them.

List 5 things you believe
1. I believe there is love in store for me again -- I just don't have any idea of when it will be. Soon or many years from now. No matter what, I refuse to give up on the idea of romance in my future!

2. I believe people who stir up problems for other people deliberately (and with pleasure) should all be sent to an island to live together so that the rest of us can live in peace.

3. I believe I came from a family filled with strong women, and I hope they look down on me and feel that I measure up. There are so many of them that I want to make proud.

4. I believe the last 15 minutes of "You've Got Mail" make me feel good, no matter what life is handing me. That's probably where #1 stems from.

5. I believe I am the luckiest girl in the world to have the parents that I have. Just imagine -- two people who think I'm wonderful and are there for me whenever I need them. And I've needed them a lot the last few years! I only hope I can someday do anything for them that comes even close to what they've done for me. Plus, it turns out my dad is a great garage organizer, so there's that! (I love you, Dad.)

It's a Thanksgiving Miracle

2011-11-29T21:32:00.000-08:00

Still no word from the doctor -- is that good or bad? I'm trying not to analyze it to death.

Thanksgiving was a smashing success, which I'm still a little surprised to be saying. Remember me? The girl who hates Thanksgiving? I know, I know.

Our Packers were on at 9:30am, during which we prepped the turkey and got it in the oven. I'm embarrassed to tell you that this was my first time EVER getting a turkey ready for stuffing. I cleaned it, pulled out the goodies and salted it. I should be too ashamed to tell you that, but it's true. In 36 years, I think it's safe to say this was the first time I was actually a help to my mother in the kitchen. (On Thanksgiving, that is.)

While the Packers literally kicked the Lions' butts, I got a lot of help from Noelle with the peeling of potatoes and buttering of the cooking turkey. It's looking good that she'll be a better daughter than me in the years to come.

After the Packers proved themselves to be the greatest team ever, once again, I threw together the green bean casserole with onions that a million people have made before me but I never have. Remember, I'm a hater.

When the meal was ready we all settled into my dining room -- Noelle with sparkling cider and Charlie with chocolate milk -- and feasted on the most delicious Thanksgiving dinner in the history of the world.

Okay, maybe not, but how about in the history of my 36 years? Maybe it's because I cooked more of the meal than I ever have. Maybe it's because I'm appreciating having my mom around more than ever. Or maybe I just finally grew up and got over myself. Whatever the reason, I'm happy. And I'll take happy over grumpy any day of the week.

November recap!

2011-11-22T15:00:00.000-08:00

Where have I been?

EVERYWHERE!

At least that's what it feels like. Not one, but two trips to San Francisco later, I have had every test under the sun and had 19 vials of blood taken to see if I'm a potential kidney donor for my mom. First there were the "is she a match" tests, and after those there were the "hey what's that thing on your kidney" tests. Yes, a bit of a scare there with the surgeon calling to say he saw "something" that could be a cyst but might not be a cyst. 22 days later I'm still waiting for the official phone call from him letting me know the final decision.

The hardest part about waiting is that we do know one very key thing.

I am a MATCH! I am, as it turns out, a perfect kidney donor for the woman I call Mom.

Isn't that amazing? Yet there could be bad news on the other end of the phone when the surgeon calls me, which according to the nurse, should be any time now. There could be some utterly annoying reason that could stop them from letting me give her my perfect kidney. And that will KILL me. To sit by and watch my mom start dialysis and know that I can't prevent it. Kills me.

On another November note...
I had a birthday. And it was a cool one. 11/11/11. How often does that happen?? (Okay, every 100 years, but the odds are not looking good for me seeing 11/11/2111.)

I turned a very uninteresting 36 that Friday. But there were highlights. On my way to work, I told the Starbucks barista that it was my birthday, and she gave me my mocha for free -- sweet! This was me celebrating on the drive with my very first cake pop.

That day my co-worker Pete, who is a wonderful guy, brought me flowers and put up a sign and even brought it the yummiest tiramasu cake you've ever tasted. Pete made my day!

That evening I celebrated with my best friends who came over for much dinner and laughter and fun. We stayed up way too late and then played musical beds with everyone sleeping somewhere random. At least everyone finally slept! Noelle was the first to fall asleep, but we didn't put her underwear in the freezer. We just moved her to the floor in a sleeping bag. Nice, right?

This week is Thanksgiving, and despite my previous complaints about this holiday, I'm really looking forward to having my family here. Tonight the 'rents arrive, tomorrow I get off of work early, Thursday we cook and eat way too much good food while our Packers win, and Friday we visit some family in Monterey. I think it's going to be a good week.

If only the phone would ring, and it would be good news....

2011-11-04T08:14:00.000-07:00

This just made me happy this morning. Welcome back, Peppermint Mocha. You were missed.

Halloween At Sleepless Mornings 2011

2011-11-03T16:22:00.000-07:00

I promised my favorite mom that I'd post some pictures of the kids on Halloween. This year we're in super-ultra-tight budget mode, so I was grateful to Charlie for wanting to do a Harry Potter sequel with all the goodies I spent too much money on last year. He was in a much better mood for pictures and hammed it up happily. (Maybe he really is my child!)

Noelle, on the other hand, had the more frightening costume/make-up, and kept creeping me out with her zombie-like qualities. Here, for your viewing pleasure, are my kids.

A tale of two kidneys

2011-09-21T16:42:00.000-07:00

I'm on a rather interesting trek right now that could lead to an even more interesting journey. I'm excited and nervous and emotional about it, and I think writing about it will be good. Sharing it with the blog universe, and anyone else out there who enjoys keeping up with me and my little life.

Last summer we found out that my mother had a kidney disease and was at the beginning stages of what would eventually be kidney failure. Our family has a history with this unfortunate ordeal -- my maternal grandmother and my mother's brother both died of kidney failure, though both for different reasons. We've been through the world of dialysis and we know how not fun it can be.

Fast forward to this summer when my mother started having to look at dialysis options. It was incredible to find out that she had options beyond what we knew 12 years ago. Her dialysis of choice will actually not involve blood, and will be something she can do at home every single night -- while she sleeps! This is a great example of why technology moving forward is good.

Of course the best option for someone in need of a healthy kidney is to receive one from a living donor. They really pump that idea into the patients, wanting them to reach out and see if anyone they know (or anyone those people know) would like to be a donor. Despite some interest and lovely thoughts, so far nobody has been the proper blood type for mom, which is a key factor.

Until now.

I guess it's silly that at 35 I never knew what type I was, but I honestly had no clue. Without mentioning it to my family, I got my blood tested and waited impatiently for results last week. When the call came in, the poor nurse had no idea that she was giving me good news, and I hollered in her ear a bit. As it turns out, I not only got my mother's voice, hair and face, I also got her blood type.

I could tell my mom wasn't sure what to do with that news -- she'd been telling me all along that she didn't want me to be a donor because I have kids, etc. But I also have a mom, and I happen to like her a lot, and if something like this is meant to be, then who am I to argue with it? Being the same blood type is only a small step in the process -- I now have to have a whirlwind of tests to find out if I not only match her in many other ways, but if my kidneys are even good enough for her. (With our family history, it will be interesting to find out.)

In a month I spend a day and a half in San Francisco finding all this out, before which I have to do a few tests of my own. (I'll just say it -- I'm not excited about the 24 hour collection of urine. How does that sound like fun for anyone? Could make for an interesting post!)

So there you are -- my little trek is beginning, and it will be an adventure to find out where it will end. Follow along!

Rivers and Berries and Camping - Oh my!

2011-08-31T06:00:00.000-07:00

As you may know, every year my favorite August tradition is to spend a weekend at my parent's place in the country. We go to the river, barbeque, pick berries and make jam. I cherish these times and am glad I can continue to enjoy them for as long as my parents will live there.

And when they don't, perhaps I'll go up there anyway and pick berries until someome throws me off the property. Some traditions are meant to be kept!

This year the kids and I brought along one of my oldest and dearest friends, Michael. (He's not old -- I've just known him for 20 years.) He's one of my most favorite people in the world to be around -- he brings a sense of peace and joy that I don't usually have, so I try to have him around as much as possible. Amazingly, he hasn't run for his life yet.

My camera battery died after just a few shots, so thanks to Michael and his camera, there are some wonderful pictures to be seen from our weekend. Here are my favorites!

Swimming at the river -- the kids never got out except to eat and sustain their energy. They were WIPED OUT that night!

Mom and I managed to find a bit of shade to hide in. Thanks to Michael hanging out with the kids, we were able to get a nice visit in -- just the two of us.

I love this of me and my crew heading back from the water.

That night we celebrated Charlie's 10th birthday with some yummy cupcakes and ice cream sundaes. Nobody was more pleased than this guy.

The next morning it was time to turn all the berries we picked into jam. The kids enjoyed helping -- especially the part where we have to "shmoosh" the berries.

Halfway through our trip we took off for the Malakoff Diggins State Park up near Nevada City for an overnight camping trip.

Best. Time. Ever.

Here was our no-frills cabin that was absolutely perfect.

We couldn't have picked a better weekend. The weather was just right -- not too warm or too cold. We hiked around a bit, and the three of them even explored some of the mining tunnels that still exist. The views were spectacular and absolutely worth seeing in person.

For dinner the kids and I made our favorite taco salad, which was promptly followed by s'mores. After we got the kids to sleep that night, we managed to enjoy my favorite bottle of Hollywood Red (thanks Jen!) and a fire under the full moon. It was a perfect night of talking and enjoying being with one of my best friends.

Insert picture of said best friends.

Malakoff Diggins may shut down after this coming Labor day due to lack of state funding, which just kills us. Our hope is that it will stay open and we can go back again and again to enjoy all that it has to offer.

Mahvelous!

2011-08-30T14:30:00.000-07:00

Something I’ve always loved about my immediate family is how much we all love a good laugh.

When I was growing up we spent a lot of time in the car on road trips, often going to visit family, or just on an outing to see some part of the world around us. While we were in the car, we managed to find things to keep us entertained as a family.

Two favorite artists that kept us in stitches were Billy Crystal and Ray Stevens.

One Christmas, somewhere around 1985, my brother received this comedy album as a gift.

As a family, we listened to it so many times that we memorized most of it. Billy’s humor is wide reaching, with some things that I got, and some that went right over my 10 year old head. Like when he suggests he could feel liver spots bursting right out on his hands when his daughter asked him, “Dad, is it true Paul McCartney was in another band before Wings?” That one took me a few more years.

My favorites, however, are when we can insert a simple couple of words into conversation that nobody else understands, but gives any one of us a chuckle at any moment. The best example I will share here today – if you know who Howard Cosell was, you’ll appreciate his “interview” with various famous boxers of the past. And you’ll also understand why any one of us will laugh out loud if you say the words

I like eggs.

What I'll Do for Respect

2011-08-11T16:17:00.000-07:00

Inspired by Heather, who was inspired by Darcie, I feel inspired to touch on a topic that I agree wholeheartedly needs to be touched on more.

Respect.

In particular, respect of other people and their space and property when you’re out in public. And more specifically, how willing are you to speak up when you feel an injustice is being committed?

Darcie has found a great method for getting people to take her seriously – you’ll have to read her post to see. I’m not sure that I have a specific method, but I have had my moments. One in particular happened in a movie theater. There was a family a few rows down with a child that was a tad young for the particular movie we were seeing. Over time he began getting a little louder, and his parents were trying to quiet him. (Let it be noted that there was a mother, a father, a grandmother and maybe even an aunt.) He was clearly not handling the movie well, and I couldn’t say I blamed him. But what got me was when their shushing turned physical. Out of nowhere he was being shaken by the father, who was now trying to drag him out of the theater. It was immediately clear that the little boy was scared and was trying to hang onto his mother, which only made the father angrier, which led to further physical harm.

I couldn’t take it. I could feel something like the child’s fear welling up inside me, and just when I couldn’t take it anymore, I started yelling, “Stop it! Stop it!” They all turned around and looked at me, and I simply said, “He’s not bothering us. You don’t have to do that.” That’s when the grandmother got up and walked out with the little boy, and the father hightailed it out, too. The boy didn’t look afraid of the grandmother, so I fretted less, but part of me wondered if the father would be waiting for me when we exited the theater. (He wasn’t – whew.)

That kind of confrontation isn’t something I do often, so a few minutes later I was crying in my seat, trying to calm down. I felt surprised that nobody else spoke up, and at the same time, surprise that I had. I’ve spoken up before when someone dared to use a racial slur in my house, but to raise my voice to strangers in a room full of more strangers? Somewhat daunting! Nevertheless, I would do it again.

Recently my kids and I have taken to sometimes watching, “What Would You Do?” on Friday nights. It’s an incredible show that gives you the opportunity to think about how you would handle being witness to things like racism, lying or bullying. My hope is that it will instill in my kids a sense of justice and the desire to do the right thing. The last thing I would ever want them to do is stand idly by while someone is being bullied.

My direction for this topic took a bit of a turn from what I think I was originally intending, but I like where I ended up. If you get a chance, watch What Would You Do? and ask yourself the same questions we did. I know I certainly don’t want to end up on camera as one of the people that looked disgusted but then walked away. That’s an episode nobody is proud to say they were on – “Hey, Betty, check out the part where someone was trying to steal a bike in broad daylight. Watch as I help the person cut the lock!” Good times.

The Roller Coaster is Slowing Down

2011-08-09T16:22:00.000-07:00

Just a few days have passed and MUCH is sorted out.

First, Charlie got a fabulous new bike over the weekend thanks to Gramma, Grampa, his dad and me. I’ll have to snap some pictures of him whirring by on it. The fun part about the bike purchase was finding out how tall my boy is now. He’s an inch shy of five feet! Look out, Gramma – he’s closing in on you! According to WebMD he’s guesstimated to be 6’2” as an adult. I love it! (My dream has always been that he be taller than me. Who wants to be shorter than their mom??)

Now for the irony. We found out that Charlie didn’t get into the school that’s close by – instead he made it into his first choice, which is super far away. No riding his bike to school this year!

Oh well – I’m of the belief that every kid should have a bike. It’s a part of being a kid! No regrets in buying it.

Charlie’s hair has been cut, his backpack and lunchbox purchased and a birthday invite has been put out.

Noelle’s haircut has been scheduled and she is sufficiently prepared with her new Harajuku mini messenger bag and lunchbox. That’s right, Gwen Stefani has a line for girls now at Target, and we LOVE it. How cute is this?

I love that my girl is a Gwen girl. Inside it says Nerds Rule!

What’s left? Possibly some new school clothes for my boy, a decent pair of sandals for my girl, and of course a GREAT first day.

As for child care – that was last thing really plaguing me, but things are falling into place and I am happy to say it’s nearly settled. The highlight for me? My boss okayed the idea of me taking the kids to school myself after working from home a bit in the mornings, which means no early run out the door and nobody else taking them to school – just me. We all needed that and I’m very grateful to her for the flexibility.

’11-’12 school year – here we come!!

End of Summer Approaches

2011-08-04T16:17:00.001-07:00

I haven’t been blogging lately, because frankly, I’ve been a little down.

Summer has been a lot of fun, but already it’s winding down with school starting in just a few weeks. I’m spending less time thinking of fun things to do on the weekend, and more time getting ready for the scramble that is the start of a new school year.

Charlie needs a haircut.

Noelle needs a haircut.

They both need new backpacks and lunchboxes.

They both need new school clothes and school supplies.

We’re trying to get Charlie into a new school, but haven’t heard yet if he’s in.

If he gets into the school we want, he can ride his bike to and from.

In order to ride his bike, I need to BUY him a new bike for his birthday.

To ride his new bike to school, he needs to learn the route to the new school, which we still don’t know if he’s gotten into yet.

And then there’s the agony of SHOULD he be allowed to ride his bike to/from school?

Did I mention he’s about to have a birthday??

Okay, maybe I’m not down. Maybe I’m just tired! And possibly overwhelmed. This whole “single parent” thing fluctuates daily. Sometimes hourly. There are times when the kids and I have a great routine and we feel like a team, and then there are times when they’re on one side of the fence, I’m on the other, and we’re both declaring war.

Ultimately, the hardest part of this venture is having to make all the decisions by myself. When things are good it’s easy to make choices and get things done, but for the tougher stuff – I miss having that other person to bounce ideas off of, or to shoulder some of the responsibility. I can live with taking on all the laundry and the bills and the shopping and the cooking, but when it’s all on me to choose every last thing, I get weary from worry over whether or not I made the right choice. I don’t mean the little stuff – more like decisions about child care and what’s best for these two little people that I am trying to raise in a loving and nurturing environment. Nope, no pressure there!

And then there are weeks like these. I know we’ll get through to the other side, but in the meantime, there’s a mountain of a checklist that I need to get through before the resident 3rd and 5th graders start their year.

I love roller coasters, but for now, I’m ready to exit this one!

I Heart Summer

2011-06-28T15:58:00.000-07:00

I decided a few weeks back -- right around the time school got out for the summer -- that I was going to enjoy every single moment of this summer that I possibly could. I'm pleased to report, so far so good!

Never mind the fact that it's June 28th and pouring rain outside in the Bay Area of California. Thankfully, it's a "work in the office/can't play outside" day.

I have been dragging Charlie and Noelle all over the place and they've handled it beautifully. That's saying a lot if you've ever seen my son refuse to go anywhere, which is quite possible if you've ever laid eyes on him. What can I say? He's a home body!

So far these last few weekends have included a trip to my parent's house, time at the Beach Boardwalk, a hike in the Redwoods and quality time with cousins in Monterey. I have absolutely no complaints!

The highlight of all these for me was the day in the Redwoods. I am amazed at how beautiful and incredible they are. It doesn't matter how many times I've been around them -- I'm in awe every time.

We picked the perfect day -- not too warm, not too cold. One thing I really learned is how much I want my kids to grow up respecting nature. They didn't really "get" that you don't walk or climb on whatever you want. The paths are there for a reason, and that's where you walk. In my mind, I've likened the concept to the idea that you treat nature the way you'd want someone to treat your own home. Essentually, this is God's backyard you're playing in, so mind your manners!

For this picture we let them stand on a tree trunk -- between this and climbing into the John C Fremont tree, they had their fill of "tree climbing."

The "we" in this scenario includes one of my oldest friends, Michael. We've known each other since mid high school and we love having him along with us for any and all adventures. The kids have taken a real shine to him, and he's wonderfully patient with them. That's worth gold for this tired single mom.

Here's Noelle holding his hand climbing a hill. She also won't ride rides at the Boardwalk with anyone else.

Later that day, and after a little shopping at a nearby mall, we finally saw "X-Men First Class." WOW!! We all loved it, though Noelle was a bit bored and fast asleep by the end. I think the creators did a great job with the characters we know and love -- nothing felt out of place. It made me want to run out and see the other movies all over again.

And there you have it -- my summer thus far. We plan on many further adventures, so stay tuned!

2011-06-10T13:49:00.000-07:00

I'm testing out my new ability to blog via email. Something tells me this will be a great way to up my postings!

The kids and I recently joined the Santa Cruz Beach Boardwalk for the season and I anticipate many more pictures like this in my future!

The Beginnings of Teen Angst

2011-06-01T14:51:00.000-07:00

I’ve discovered something un-fun.

I now know what my mom was going through when I thought she was the stupidest and most repetitive person on earth. I know because my daughter officially seems to feel that way about me.

Lately I get a lot of, “OkAY, you don’t have to rePEAT yourself 80 times!” Or, “I KNOW, Mom, you’ve told me that like a million times!” Let it be known she doesn’t get to say this to me a second time – that first time typically gets her into hot water.

Where did my sweet little girl go??

Thankfully she’s not fully gone – I still get lots of hugs and kisses and cuddles, which get me through the week a lot of the time. And she is still my sidekick when there are treks to be taken and laughs to be had. But there’s also this sass that shows me that, at seven years old, she’s already starting to grow away from me, and that I’m in for a tough set of years ahead.

A perfect hilarious example would be the two voice mails I currently have saved on my iPhone. One is from a few weeks back after she’d had a play date at a dear friend’s house where they had made cupcakes together. Here’s the call I got the next day – imagine a soft sweet voice as you read.

“Hi Mommy, It’s me, Noelle. I was just going to ask you something. And, well, I don’t want Daddy to hear it, so I’m going to go in your room…. Well, I just wanted to ask you if it would be okay if Daddy could have one of the cupcakes that I made with Kathleen. And I just wanted to ask you that. Well, anyway, love you Mommy – bye!”

She knew that Daddy having a cupcake meant I couldn’t, and she wanted to get my blessing. Who could say no to that??

Now on to the message from last Friday.

Imagine a not so soft or sweet voice. And just know that she and I had decided the week before to not do a load of laundry for her because she needed to wear some of her clean things to justify that. (I didn’t buy her cute dresses so they could hang in her closet for a month!)

“Hi Mom, it’s me, Noelle. I just wanted to tell you, RIGHT when you get home, I want you to DO my LAUNDRY. I don’t care if you have anything else to do. I don’t care, I don’t care, I don’t care. You’re just doing my laundry. Okay? (Sullenly) Bye, I love you.”

That’s my sweet little angel.

Thankfully the conversation that followed gave her the opportunity to apologize and feel a fairly sufficient amount of guilt. And she’s also going to be learning how to handle more of her own laundry.

Ask, and you shall receive.

P.S. Mom, I'm really sorry.