The story continues...
I later received another Barbie from some family member or another, and it was the lovely Peaches and Cream Barbie. She's beautiful, right?
Her gown was gorgeous, her hair was long and thick, and she had a normal set of eyes. What could possibly go wrong? Well, everything was fine, until Western Barbie got a look at her. All I heard after that was, "Why don't you play with me as much as you do with her?," or "You think she's prettier than me, don't you?" What could I say? Peaches is in a class of her own, and you...well, you just don't measure up anymore.
That's when Western Barbie made the transformation. Unbeknownst to me (because I would never EVER do such a thing), she cut off all of her blonde hair, leaving only spikes, and then attempted to color what was left a shade of brown that she found in my Barbie eye shadow. I was sorry for her choice, as clearly she did this not realizing that it wouldn't grow back, but we all learned to live with it.
Until the incident.
One day my grandmother's dog Keno came along and discovered Western Barbie. She was probably up to no good, possibly harassing Peaches, who was likely trying to teach my stuffed animals to read. Keno decided to teach her a lesson, and grabbed her by the feet. When next we saw Western Barbie, she was laying on the floor, with nothing left at the end of her legs but nubs. Little chewed nubs. This was the day that she took the final turn, and became Evil Barbie. From that day forward she did nothing but taunt Peaches and the My Little Ponies. It was a constant battle of good vs. Evil. Perhaps she was jealous of the fancy stable that my ponies lived in and Peaches took care of. (I still have this thing up in a closet or attic, filled up with old school ponies.)
My friends get a great kick out of this little story, about me and my Barbies. I mostly just wonder how much of this weirdness my kids will inherit.
A big thanks to eBay for all the pictures people have posted of toys I either no longer have or don't have access to. As for Evil Barbie...the last time I saw her, she was up in the attic of my parents' garage. I think she's still up there...probably telling Peaches where she can stick her peach boa.