Friday, August 15, 2008

Guinness

Dear Guinness Book of World Records,
*
I read the unfortunate news about the World's Tallest Woman, Sandy Allen, that she had passed away this week. She appears to have been a lovely lady, and the world will surely miss her. I'm very sorry for 7'7" loss.




This brings me to my idea. I couldn't help but wonder if I could make a suggestion about a new entry into your record book. Naturally, at six feet, I do not qualify as the next tallest woman in the world. However, what if we tweaked it just a little bit, so that I could be considered? Let me give you a few examples.
*
The Worlds Tallest Woman...with the Biggest Head


The Worlds Tallest Woman...with the Loudest Laugh


The Worlds Tallest Woman...with the Biggest Feet


The Worlds Tallest Woman...with the Shortest Mother


The Worlds Tallest Woman...with the Longest Arms

If this interests you, please contact me, and I'd be happy to show you just how small my head isn't or how many of my clothes don't fit me length wise.

Sincerely,

Your Tall Friend Merrie

I really think I'd have a shot at one of the first two or the last. Any other tall people out there have trouble finding hats or long sleeves that actually fit? Anyone? Anyone?

4 comments:

Susiewearsthepants said...

Sorry. I confess to being a short puny woman. Although when I was grotesquely skinny, I had a lot of trouble finding pants that fit in the waste that weren't too short. (I have long legs for a short woman of 5'4) I think I could be in the competition for the world's smallest breasts. Really.

ali said...

Hey, Merrie, here's some good news: people shrink when they get older:) That's not so good new for my 5'3" self!

Tasha said...

Ahahahahaha! That was funny. Hey, I want to try for biggest feet. I wear size 11. I can submit a picture if you dont believe me. Too bad I'm not a guy....everyone would think I have a really big penis.

Rochelle said...

Ha ha. Great post. You are too funny. Just keep hangin' with me and your head will look perfectly normal! Remember, I'm the mutant/runt of the litter in my family and I have a head meant for a 6 foot plus person. That and the rib cage issue... :+)